Constipation of a writer

Well…ummm…dunno…where to start with!

Of late, some colleagues have realized that I am a writer!

While people doubt my competency over words saying “Exams mein toh hum bhi writer ban jaate hai, nayi baat bata” (During exams even we become imaginatively advanced writers, what good are you for! 🙂 😛

Exams! How imaginative those three hours used to be for me, especially in the case of social studies….what long stories!

Some of my constipated writings, which strived hard to make the impact 😉

Constipation of a writer

Question 1: In which year did Columbus discovered America, illustrate the discovery!

Answer: Columbus discovered America somewhere between the years 1620 – 1630…. The fact that America’s too vast to be discovered in a year, historians have suggested a liberative estimate. Columbus started his voyage from southern Greece, which at that time was known as ancient Mesopotamia! Since his birth he had this urge to discover things, at the age of 3 he discovered his name was Columbus! Subsequently, he also discovered that 9 came after 8 and that sky is blue and roses are red.

My teacher thrashed me and called me a HISTORY SHEATER… 🙂

Question 2: Describe the advantages and relevance of Steppes Farming.

Answer: Steppes is one of the more popular farming across southern Asia as they follow a step-by-step policy towards the “Developed Countries Group”. Another reason is that people are health conscious and want to exercise while farming collectively. This is also one reason that China and Japan lead the Olympic medal race almost constantly. Steppes is also known as TERRACE FARMING, and therefore people is the southern Asian region water the terraces with harvested rain water. Terrace farming is also known as terror farming in certain regions (Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq etc.).

Note for Examiner: While I know that my knowledge of the subject is deep, I expect at least a 9/10 for this answer.

When this answer was disclosed to my principal, she was instinctively determined to throw me off her bungalow’s terrace. 😛

While I still live to tell the story, I will continue back to the topic “Constipation of a writer”!

I’ve seen many people associate writers in their back of their mind as “a puffy eyed nerd, ideally wearing specs, somewhat poor earning fella whose diet comprises of cigarettes, tea/ coffee, or both, a mild alcoholic maybe….and as lost as a sand grain in the Pacific Ocean!

Interestingly people associate similar things (cigarette, coffee and tea) to a constipate who fails to flush down plum desires… More interestingly there are similar things for a writer, but the other way round!

A writer needs to flush his thoughts out of his mind for maybe some creative purpose (for a moment, please forget that I am a writer 😀 )!

Sutta

I’ve seen managers gathering for a 5 minute “Sutta break” (sutta = cigarette) to discuss an issue that is bothering their obedient lives and sledging the boardroom knives. What do I see? A creepy issue that had the usually sophisticated managers pulling their hair apart in the long MEETING hours, does a juggle through the smoke rings, and bang comes the solution!

Similarly, it’s a cup of tea or coffee that works for the people whose teeth titter by a fortune forecast image on the cigarette packs. Or may be their family doctors suggest that the body seems unfamiliar with lungs…

For some, it’s the conscience of salvaging the best of both worlds! 🙂 Coffee n cigarette…hallelujah!

I think the concept is, it’s just not the WRITER, the STRATEGIST or the THINKER, it is anybody and everybody who thinks a cup of coffee or tobacco incense is the solution.

That is it; it’s just a herd of constipated thinkers, and not just the constipation of a writer!

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What!

It’s over buddy… (Seems, my writing is addictive, and you just can’t stop banging your head over empty space) 🙂

TADAH!!

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