Author: Piyush Kaushal

Naive and Untamed!

Maar Daala O-S(hy)ama (Part 2)

So, hope you guys had a good long weekend! 😀

This is my way to sign in to another nerve clenching episode of Maar Daala O-s(hy)ama – part 2 (just making sure it sounds interesting!)

So the characters: Me (the victim), Shyama (or verbal Osama) and Sudhir (Mr. Cunning) at the Chinese Restaurant in CP.

Flashback:

“It was around 2 when we reached CP, and then Lunch time! We went to a Chinese Restaurant, and then the menu with tongue twisting names was next on my Foe’s list. I was hungry and going bananas, but my dear friend was busy fiddling with the item names.”

Continued..

We had to decide something quick and I gave blank stares to Sudhir! Finally after half hour of pinnacle, we finally ordered something! While they were galloping the dish names, I could just put my finger across the item name.

Maar Daala O-s(hy)ama

Sudhir ordered Manchurian with some meatballs, while the latter ordered cheese Momos and mushrooms. I decided to order honey chilly potato with some fillers (Mouth watering already!).

While we were waiting for “the gorge”, Mr. Shyama was sharing his expert opinions about the evolution behind the “Chinese food”… “Look dude Chinese names me hamesha Chow aur Chi zaroor hota hai, aise hi unki dishes mein (there are always words like Chow or Chi in Chinese names, similar thing applies to the cuisine) like CHOWmein, manCHOWrian, CHIlly patato, etc… We had some good bemused stares from the people around, and I was already imagining the cook doing his Kung-Fu practice on Shyama.

The food was here finally, and the attendant gave him a stern gaze. But, as undeterred and super intellect he was, couldn’t refrain from his absolute stance. He wanted to eat in “proper Chinese style” to show off his laurels, and asked the attendant to get CHOPSTICKS! “We don’t have chopsticks here sir, people rarely use it”, the attendant replied, trying to be courteous. Arre, how can you say “we don’t have it” Shyama was at his irritating best, and Sudhir was snooping!

After some good verbal arguments, they finally got him the chopsticks! Those chopsticks ate 40 more minutes from my already starved appetite. It was 3.30pm when I finally started with my lunch, and that too was on stake! The fillers were good, and the Chilly potatoes were sending shivers down with the extra spice, but never mind it was a breather for me (or so I thought!)
Mr Shyama on the other hand was picking up with the art of “Chopsticks”, along the first piece laden with sauce and a swollen pride! On the way to his mouth even the mushroom was terrified of that territory, and there it slipped out of his chopstick and landed right on my face and then on my shirt (as if crying for help). I could for once forgive him for sauce on my face, but not for the big red blot on my favorite Levi’s shirt… I stood up and almost shouted something. But then I realized it would just waste the whole ordeal, and I was back to my chair.

For the next 40 minutes he was babbling and murmuring, but thankfully he couldn’t speak much! We left the restaurant around 4.15 pm. Roaming around, we went shopping into nooks and corners, and every time Mr. Shyama had his “EXCERPT OPINIONS”! While in Palika Bazaar, he caught hold of a salesman calling “Italian Leather Sir, genuine leather belt, only Rs. 2300 Sir” 

Italian leather

“Sharm aani chahiye tujhe, kya milta hai masum janwaron ko maar ke! Aur wo bhi Italian janwaron ko!” (Shame on you for killing innocent animals, that too Italian) His hands caught the salesman’s collar, and I was sure we’ll be beaten black and blue now
The terrorist in Os(hy)ama was at full swing!!

“Abe kahan se aya hai” salesman said, while Sudhir himself felt embarrassed this time, he was talking to the salesman to let go. But Mr. Shyama – “Narak Bhogega tu” (you’ll go to hell)! And then there were people watching the free premiere accompanied by a herd of other shopkeepers who joined in to support the salesman.

Now I was bound not to speak, and Sudhir was handling this stuff. Those little frowns on his face were soothing to soul! Things were going out of proportions, and then Sudhir took the salesman to a corner and said “Yaar iska thora problem hai, tragedy hui thi uski saath, jaane de dost” (friend he’s got some problems in life, please don’t mind)

But then the salesman was loud enough “To isko baandh ke rakho na”, and I could hear mumbles of laughter. Finally, after a lot of persuasion the storm settled, it was already 6’0 clock and we were heading back home.

This time the bus was better (only in a way that there was breathing space at least) and my foremost concern was getting a seat for Rajesh ASAP, I was pretty tired and another scuffle was just a big NO.

15 minutes into the drive, and he got a seat next to a chirpy old man… They started talking about old days and Shyama was quite hyper proving that the new generation is lot better than the oldies.

Another grueling session was on the cards, with the old man a step ahead in proving his points. Things went awry and they were now shouting at the top of their voices with gestures referring to other passengers who were already having a good time. Some smirks, some giggles and whispers followed every comment.

But I wasn’t much bothered now, or maybe coz the watch was telling me “it’s 7.15 dude, couple of more minutes and you’ll be enjoying a grand dinner at the TAJ”. The tension was now shifting its base to Mr. Sudhir, with frown lines clearly visible on his adulterated face.

Nevertheless, we reached home at around 7.40, and I was almost there. It was an overstretched day, so I decided to take a shower while Sudhir and Shyama discussed things. A good long show was what the cerebellum ordered to avoid last-minute complications, I did just that!

The Clock struck 7.55, and I was back into the room, holding back my smile. Sudhir had a wicked reaction (quite unusual to the situation), and Shyama was silent! Something had gone horribly wrong…

I looked at Sudhir with puzzled eyes, and then to Shyama, I could see my laptop lying beneath him! And then my worst fears came true, “Yaar galti se maine tera SYSTEM FORMAT kar diya”… A lightning struck me, it had all the data that was damn crucial, my office projects, my unfinished novel, colossal torrents, and above all the “My next week presentation”!

I fiddled through the laptop with a faint hope only to find that all the drives were formatted! It was BRAND NEW now! Blood rushed through my veins onto my head I caught hold of Shyama and punched his face with a fierce potential.

The volcano of words swept over, I almost wilted a whole paragraph of undermined abuses in a single go! Sudhir’s wicked grin was back again…

I was relieved, but then I lost the deal within a matter of 5 minutes!

Crazy things people do!!!

Maar daala O-S(hy)ama (Part1)

“You promised yourself to not talk to anyone for 12 hours. But after 11 hours and 55 minutes you could not take it anymore, and ended up shouting out”. Here’s how and why!

Wednesday morning came as a surprise for me, just got up on the wrong side of bed and found one of the most irritating characters standing in front of me.

Shyam Vinayak (nicknamed Shyama) has been notoriously popular in the friend circle for his unruly and irritatingly foolhardy behavior. He carries a certain allure that makes even the most dignified and societal creatures to blurt out like maniacs!

Imagine yourself, waking up in the morning and finding yourself right into the perpetual set of “Bheja Fry”! I’ll tell u that’s just too scary!

Morning blues

“Hey Shyam, what are you doing at my place that too early morning??” I exclaimed, citing what’s going on! “ Arre kuch nae yaar main bus aise he kahin jaa raha tha aur tera ghar raste mein tha, to socha mil lun”! (I would have sued the Civil Engineer for this misplacement of my home!!)

“U’ll have tea or coffee” I said, getting back to the conversation! “Two Coffees, a cream bun and maybe some paranthas would do” he was almost fixative there!

“Now what’s with 2 cuppa coffe”, was my prompt reply! Dude Sudhir bhi aaya hai, he’s waiting out there! (Sudhir, an ad maker who cherished some strange satisfaction in making people suffer) Here he was in the living room, to fetch happiness out of my life!

Good morning Sudhir, how’ve you been? That’s a (un)pleasant surprise (hidden feelings) “ Nothing much was just thinking of a new Ad concept actually, so thought to catch up with you guys to discuss” – a pre-empted reply it was, and I could smell trouble trailing the day!

“That’s interesting” I said vehemently, what’s the concept all about? “Something distinct yet similar” he exclaimed grabbing a chair! I am working on a scenario wherein you have to take the challenge of keeping mum for just half-a-day in favor of a grand dinner at “The Taj”. (The deal was too sumptuous to resist)

Seems fun, but what’s the catch?? I was impromptu… Well it goes like: “You have to keep the silence going, with a person of my choice!! There was a strange shrewd crimp in his voice, which I didn’t figure out then. “That’s pretty easy!” I told myself, not sensing the danger!! “Alright buddy, let’s start with me, what say??” I was anticipating a positive reply!

Sudhir readily agreed and said “ok your time starts now, and there’s NO U-TURN here” a wicked grin made me nervous upfront. He then turned to Shyama and said “You’ll have to accompany him the whole day”!

Bwaha! I was trapped, should’ve sensed the danger, but it was too late to back off! The breakfast ended with a lot of whining around the distinctive taste buds. (And yes the characteristic talks of Mr. Shyama)

Star Wars

Then came some DVD’s (Needed something to survive a day with this mental Tsunami!) The bet started at 8 in the morning, and it was around 10 a.m that we starting watching movies. With star wars being the first one showcased, I was bombarded with some mind-boggling questions like, why’s this spaceship not rectangular! Don’t they feel suffocated in those attires?? Why are the stars themselves not fighting! Why are stars like what they are! What if moon and sun interrupt the STAR WARS, what eclipse it would be and blah blah! I somehow survived those two ODD hours…PHEW!!

Those infuriating gaffes made me feel like a “Fish without water”, but with an uncanny valor, i faced those blows like a defiant warrior!

It was 12 now and we thought to explore things on a driveway, and there we were… three of us in the pinching and effervescently shining sunlight! Junes make things worse for you, especially in Delhi, where the sun rays pierce through your skin, unbuttoning heap of sweat and frustration. For me things were a double whammy, with Mr. Sun and Mr. Shyama, equating a well-defined persecute.

Half past twelve (afternoon), we were waiting for bus no. 836. Satish was accompanying us with his treacherous Hawk Eye! “Thankfully AC buses fall in this route and at least heat would spare my day”, I told myself! But, then maybe it was bound to be a horrifying day…DTC Strike!!! Now what we could manage was a rickety, overcrowded minibus, and given a height of 6 feet it was BANG-BANG!!

The radio played an old pathetic hindi number “atariya pe lotan kabootar”, and this Mithun fan lived up to the spirit! Ambitious whistling around and high-pitched audio rehearsal with an blemished urge to dance! Blemished because, the “Pan Masalas” were doing their bit by occasional showers from the fellow passengers. Then, i don’t know why, the seat next to the driver was vacant, and our very own “Sample” got control of it.

And then, the driver went out of control!

Driver saab

He started gaining breath, and we (me and the driver) started losing temper! “How long have you been into this profession bhaiya! how much do you earn, for how long you can drive in a go?? Are you married?? what’s the maximum speed this bus can achieve??” For once, we almost brushed past an accident! I wanted to shout, but i couldn’t…

Sudhir was loving it, i could sense that from his expressions!

The next thing i remember was some very polite “Haryanvi abuses” stabbing the eardrums for 15 continuous minutes. For a moment, i thought i would witness “Street Fighter – part5“, but as i mentioned “a bad day“, Mr. torture wasn’t somehow in “Blue of health“!

It was around 2 when we reached CP, and then Lunch time! We went to a Chinese Restaurant, and then the menu with tongue twisting names was next on my Foe’s list. I was hungry and going bananas, but my dear friend was busy fiddling with the item names.

What happened next??? Well that would be coming soon in Maar daala O-S(hy)ama (Part2)

Stay tuned to this space, and do lemme know how’s my first ” SO CALLED STORY”!

Crazy ideas are also welcome!! 😉

To Frosty – With Love

She was just 2 days old when I first saw her, it was 8th February I remember! (She was also an Aqua like me, 6th feb born:)) The cutest and the most adorable creature that I witnessed, almost felt like cuddling her in my arms, such was the magnetism that “My Frosty” carried. I won’t like to designate her with the customary tag; I would just call her a “female dog” (Pardon the linguistics). No, “Frosty” wasn’t my pet, she was a family member!

FROSTY

She died last year due to liver infection, it’s her death anniversary. This one’s especially for her. May her soul rest in peace!

In the yesteryears, I never had the bliss of a pet’s company. My brother brought her home in a small basket, just like a birthday gift with a strange positive feeling. I held her for the first time, that cute little creature in my hand with the skin as soft as melting butter and a silkened Pashmina (a type of Kashmiri silk). I stood in front of the mirror and yes that was a cherished Kodak moment for me! “Maa dekho ye kitni cute hai”, I called my mother… She came to the living room, accompanying her precious smile!

Dad, maa, bhai, everybody had a face sparkled with the glycerin of jubilation! Then came the google part… eh! Got that right! We were busy googling the diet chart, vaccination, and the Do’s and Don’ts of a new-born puppy. Milk powders pedigrees, and Kennels sworn in within a few hours, the house was now a hustling bustling home! We named her “Frosty”

She wasn’t one of the so-called “Top breeds”, she was “The street’s child”. It hardly mattered though, none of us had a silicone love for the “social stature”. We were not “ Sociomaniacs” (the selfish lot, who symbolize everything as a social stature, even purest feelings) and loved her for what she was!

For the next couple of days, we were self acclaimed vets (until we actually found one) with different permutations and concentrations of food, and as a consequence she was eating more and dirtying floors. Sometimes she would just nimble out a feeble bark and we were up on our feet, taking care of her infant tantrums.  Making baby food at 3 A.M, cleaning things before maa wakes up, playing around in park, dog toys, vaccination and so many other things! 🙂

Within no time she was at her playful best, fiddling around pillows, playful bites and cuddling around with us. 🙂 She started acquiring her territory on the beds and sofas, and then she was always sleeping on my arm with her nose right under my ear. I gave her another name “Buchhi Darling”.


The cute little “Frosty” was now 1-year-old, and she was growing rapidly, a total “Foodie” she was! Ate almost everything, fruits, vegetable, chapatis, with a personal favorite “raw cheese”! A terror she was, amongst other dogs, a valiant and fearless canine! We had some proud Oscar moments, when she shooed away dogs almost double her size! “Badi hi tez taraar hai ye, aajtak aisa doggy nahi dekha”, people used to say…

Whenever back home, she would greet me with a vigor and energy that even the tsunami waves can not fathom. She would restlessly sway her tail dancing to and fro, jumping on me and caressing around with her tongue… I miss that welcome now! 🙁

Everything was going in sync with the “Happily ever after” theme, until we shifted our house. I don’t know the reason, but she was ailing with hide n seek fever since 2 months. Her regular vet would give some vaccinations, and she would be back to normal, but only for 2-3 days. We were really anxious, and then some senseless moron advised us to consult a Veterinary Hospital… I still regret following the advice!

This hospital was a place where even a healthy animal could be the most disease prone! With a herd of ailing street animals under the roof, it could have easily been the most contagious place. We never realized it, until it was too late!

Frosty was being vaccinated almost daily, and her reports showed that the trouble was thickened blood circulation in liver. The doctor said everything will be fine within a few days, it’s not a serious problem. We heaved a sigh of relief, but something else was in the offing!

After 10 days, she wasn’t eating anything!  She was on glucose for over a week, and was very feeble now… She stopped moving, the same frosty who danced all around the house was still, on a prolonged fast. We tried every bit to entertain her, to keep her engaged, to bring back our FROSTY, but all in vain!!

Friday, 19th April around midnight, she came and sat in my lap, I was happy and bemused. Yet there was a strange fear lingering that refrained me from smiling! That night she moved, and went to every family member, as if she was bidding adieu. I didn’t slept, I saw Frosty resting near dad’s feet, which was unusual!

Saturday, 8 AM she started wilting profusely, we rushed her to the hospital, her eyes were closing and we were waiting for the doctor to call us. My brother carried Frosty, she was unusually heavy…

She was lying onto the stretcher now, the doctor examined her and said “IT IS TOO LATE”, my heart skipped several beats! She was dead, my Frosty was NO MORE… I felt like a maniac staring at nothing, breathing heavily with moist eyes, as if I was numb!

I don’t cry easily, but I was not strong enough to hold the flood of emotions that was gushing through my veins. I cried, I wept and I shouted on my helplessness! My brother too was crying, we had to call home, but how!!

Finally I called dad and just managed to say “FROSTY”S DEAD”!! Everybody was at the hospital now, there was a strange homicide silence, while we performed her last rites.

Back home there was a frenzy of emotions, we lost something precious, something which can never be recuperated! There was no one to play around with, no one for pillow fights, and nobody who would greet you like the most sought after creature on the planet earth! Frosty was very-2 special, and she’ll always be!

She left us, leaving behind a vacuum of emotions, feelings and a bag full of cherished moments! I don’t want to regret, for I don’t want her to feel sad wherever she is. It’s 20th April again, and this post is my way to say “WE MISS YOU A LOT FROSTY”!

We’ve never had another pet, just some cute little puppies that we feed! There’s a strange contentment in doing so, something beyond definition!

(S)ach(I)n (R)amesh Tendulkar

“Beneath the helmet, under that unruly curly hair, inside the cranium, there is something we don’t know, something beyond scientific measure. Something that allows him to soar, to roam a territory of sport that, forget us, even those who are gifted enough to play alongside him cannot even fathom. When he goes out to bat, people switch on their television sets and switch off their lives.” – BBC Sports

SIR

At 14, he was a ball boy for the India versus Zimbabwe game during the 1987 World Cup. Around 24 years and 5 world cups later, he is the poster boy of International Cricket!

The subdued 16-year-old boy facing the most ferocious bowlers is now one of the most “Respected” and  “Feared” batsman in the history of world cricket!

Sachin- "Now and then"

Such is his stature that he has been adduced as the “God of Cricket”! Words are sporadic, and sentences too scanty, to define our very own “Little Master”.

The “Tendulkar” can stop time in India, his nervous nineties symbolize an apprehension across the nation. There’s a nerve-wrecking silence, and everything stands still! Eyes glued to the TV sets, and lips synchronizing a pledge to the “Respective Gods“!

The anticipation bypasses any  caste, creed and color, only one religion prevails “Sachinism”! A century at this moment, reinvents the “Proud Indian” with heads soaring high. He’s not just a Cricketer, he’s the dream of a common man! He is what “hope” means to us, and cricket means to me.

This post is dedicated to SIR Sachin’s “World Cup Dream”

I bow to the mastery of this legend, and his superb run in the world cup 2011! I won’t be doing any scratchoscopic analysis, as being a mere mortal i don’t have the right to!

The Flashback!

1998-thunderstorm innings

I started watching cricket when I first saw “Sachin” bat! It’s almost 13 years now, I watch the game “ONLY and ONLY” when the “Master Blaster” is at the crease! It was 1998 Sharjah Cup, India V/S Australia, I still remember how “Tendulkar” bundled the aussies with his fluent “Lofted” sixes of Kasprowicz, Gillespie, Warne, and the likes. He literally smothered the Australian attack to the dismal corners, cajoling India to the emphatic “Qualifiers”!

They say “history repeats itself”! And the one special innings in World Cup quarterfinals from the “Little Master” sent Kangaroos back in their pouch yet again! 😀

The rise of a Phoenix – Lyrically

Tendulkar’s exploits are phenomenal, he’s faced the lethal swingers of Wasim-Waqar, the rippers of Pollock-McGrath, the fireballs of Lee-Akhtar, and the spiralling torpedoes of Warne-Murali with an unbiased and imbibed ease.

His supernova form in the 90’s was just euphoric, and it returns to haunt the bowlers whenever critics pull up their socks against the “Run Machine”. The atheists get their answers when the lethal willow attunes the song of “Leather meets The Heavy Wood”.

To the Bowler:

He’ll walk through the pitch
and send it out of the stadium…

When Leather meets heavy wood

He’ll pull across that heavy bat
and dismantle your poise…

He’ll stand and deliver
the echelons of swashbucklers…

The fielders are gonna run,
In a merry-go-round

And the pitch turns
Into a battleground

Everything’s gonna fall apart,
And the crowd will go berserk

“When Leather meets The Heavy Wood”

P.S – These lyrics are my cherished possession, please DO NOT COPY 🙂


The finesse of a Literary

His stroke play symbolize literature! A mixture of silkened stanza cover drive, a whispering dialect of back foot punch, the colloquial paddle sweep, the synecdoche of a straight drive, and the catharsis of a belligerent pull. He adorns the climaxotic late cut, the hyperbole of a lofted shot, and the euphemism of the upper cut!

I am a writer, can’t help it! 😀

Upper Cut
Paddle sweep
Back foot Punch
Straight Drive

The Humanitarian

A gentleman that he is, “Tendulkar” sponsors 200 underprivileged children every year through Apnalaya, a Mumbai-based NGO associated with his mother-in-law, Annabel Mehta. A request from Sachin on twitter raised 10.25 million through his crusade against cancer for a Cancer foundation. (Source: Wikipedia)

The humanitarian

The Superman

With a stature that he enjoys in the cricket crazy nation, humility is almost impossible.  But that’s what makes this man so special, Impossible ain’t a word for him! He’s been playing for more than two decades now, and has been a true cavalier throughout. Controversies are a rare artifact in his unbelievably long career.

The Superman

I won’t talk about his records, for that’s what every Indian boasts of! 😀 Again I am falling short of words, so I’ll borrow Navjot Singh Sidhu’s ,“Hindustan mein aap Prime Minister pe ungli utha sakte ho, lekin Sachin Tendukar pe nahin” (In India you can question a Prime Minister, but not Sachin Tendulkar) 🙂

A Magnum Opus!

With the ballpark figure of almost every single Indian dedicating this world cup to “SRT”, fellow teammates were equally ecstatic to devote this memorabilia.

If only i was able to express how i felt when “Sachin” was riding on the team chariot through the Wankhede Stadium, with hazy and moist eyes!

I can still fortify the exuberance of a “Little Boy” cuddling his dream, with those jeweled eyes. I could sense those romantic vibes surrounding a young romeo saying “Hey Sweety, you took a long time, but you’re finally mine!!” 😀

The Romeo
The Little Boy

An Ode to the  Master!

This may be his “last World Cup”, or maybe NOT 🙂 ( i want SIR “Sachin” to enlighten our souls forever!) Critics and pessimists may argue over his supremacy, but there’s one thing i am pretty sure of “There is only one SACHIN, and will always be”!

Godliness

“People say they saw Christ walk water…People say they saw Gandhiji win us freedom…People say they walked alongside Buddha ‘The Enlightened One’. I will always say ~~ I SAW SACHIN BAT ~~” 🙂

Yes, we are the world Champs! And i am a very proud Indian and an immensely dignified Sachinist! 🙂

SACHIN……SACHIN!!!!

Engliss Mein Angrezi!!

Engliss mein Angrezi!

Yes the peoples, don’t startle your mind, this blog is about the human species which make engliss “a phunny language”!! 😀 Of late, I have seen many people taking this foreign repository to unimaginable heights. This blog post is dedicated to some of the most introspective and (Un)conceptual English blue poppers 😀

Read On!!

P.S: This blog is NOT a work of fiction, and is just for some good clean fun! No Offence Intended 🙂

Now that I am done with the “Statuary Warning” lets “HIC IT” 🙂

Quacker

With some of my professional excursions, I have come across a variety of mind squandering formal way of communication that justifies your absence from “Office Swe(a)t Office” 😉 Yup that’s right, I am talking about leave applications 🙂

Here are some

  • “Since I have to go to my town to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.” – Really!
  • Another gem! Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter’s wedding: “As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave.” – oops!!
  • “As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.” – Look how responsible you are 😀
  • Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: “Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave” – May the soul rest in piece 😀
  • “I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.” – PM calling!!
  • Covering note: “Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…” – a dirty referral! 😛
  • “My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave” – No Bigamy allowed sir! 🙂

Guess those were not enough! 😛 Here’s a candidate’s job application:

“This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist and an Accountant – Male or Female’… As I am both (Insert a thunderclap here) for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am applying for the post.
—

SMOKIN!! 😀 😉

Open and closed

A friend of mine who’s been taking some interviews of late, helped me compile these tongue babbling “masterpieces”

  • “I am 2 design 2 option for you and i am wait good reply to your side”
  • “I have 1 year of experience in out bound proses.”
  • “The design is with some circle design to to as logo is also little round” – what goes in comes a-round 😉
  • “I am very punctual in making time “ – Contact soon for the time machine!
  • “It was the talli sells marketing – Hic Hic!! 😛
  • “To link my self with a reputed intuition for being dependable candidate of it for my future and to prove my efficiency…” – Friend you’ve done that!

Some more…

  • “It was an unexpected surprise when a pair of baby twins was born at 12 midnight”!! – a twin surprise indeed!
  • If you give me a chance, I can put my best effort to your entire organization. I hope you have a very favorably reply. – I can bet on that 😀
  • Joining after interview : soon as soon possible!! – WOW!! 🙂
  • Pls Revert Me as soon as Possible and Sorry for that mail the late project because We Have Some Critical problems. – Very Critical indeed 😀
  • So we wants to knowledge of rate of products, we are requested to please you send us details

These bungled gaffes are irrespective of your country, age, gender, and Blah Blah! With a common interface of “the urge to innovate and astonish” 😉

For the closing I would rather say that “All’s well that ends in a well” 😛 😀

Keep Smiling!! 🙂

Shiva – The Immortal Bliss

Last year I went to Triambakeshwara, one of the twelve Jyotirlingas in India, and needless to mention here that it was truly enlivening! It is said that” there is no sacred place like Triambakeshwara, no river like Godavari, and no mountain like Brahmagiri”. I have literally experienced the godliness in the holy shrine. The pious air and chanting of mantras had a strange demystifying calmness! A calmness that cleanses your soul, and purifies your heart with the reiteration of “Om Namah Shivay”…

Triambkeshwar Temple

The highlight of this Jyotirlinga, is its three faces embodying Lord Brahma, Lord Vishnu and Lord Rudra. The Lingas at Trimbakeshwara are covered by a jeweled crown which is placed over the Gold Mask of Tridev (Brahma Vishnu Mahesh). I was lucky to have been there in the auspicious month of “Savana” accompanying a vibrant and rare species of true “Yogis”. Now that the “Mahashivaratri” is here, I thought to pen down the embellishments of the “Sahastranama”

Shiv Linga at Triambakeshwara

The god of the yogis, the self-controlled and celibate destructor, the follower of Brahma the creator and Vishnu the preserver, there are many ways to describe the omnipresent and ubiquitous truth “Lord SHIVA”.

Continue reading Shiva – The Immortal Bliss

Ads that make No(N) Sense (Part-2)

It’s been a fantastic week so far, some good remunerations and one of my posts being the “Editor’s Choice” at BlogJunta Polls. SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS! 😀 Anyway moving forward, here’s another smoldering episode of “Ads that make No(N) Sense”! 🙂 While the last blog got some good response, let’s see if we can make things more interesting here.

What Nonsense??

We’ll start off with the “cola” advertisements where people hang to the cliff, jump buildings, perform acrobatics, run against the cars, and entourage swashbuckling stunts only to get a can of cold drink…. Phew “That wasn’t easy”!! 😮 Specially the ones with Akshaye Kumar and the competitor Sprite ads in “Cola War”, while poking fun at each other! Another advertisement i remember, where the dialogue was “ Don’t do yahan, do wahan jhadi ke piche” taking over mountain dew 😛 Crackling nuts! 😀

And here comes this MTR Idli masala ad that most of us might not have even seen, it takes you to the good old epic days with arrows of power dwindling across only to end up with a hilarious end. The warrior who was till now struggling with his tug of war, suddenly comes up with this Rava Idli arrow to bamboozle his opponent and his army for the lusty food 😛 Man, oh man u gotta watch this to believe!!

As my friend Lalit mentioned in the first part “Amul Lassi was just absence of creative team”. Well, it surely was! Absolutely no sync in the theme and the ad content! A couple in the park with lassi, and they start flying with the epitomes of a frozen heart. This feels more like the 90’s movies, white dress, stars flying and oh so love in the air! Despicably awesome!!

Another one to go down would be the Colgate active salt “kya apke toothpaste mein namak hai!” The scenario goes like this, a guy’s on his way in an airplane and he picks up something only to find that his teeth are not made of enamel (OMG!). Thus, the scene de riguers a reporter coming out of the clouds, concealingly notching up another “Breaking News” O My god “apke toothpaste mein namak nahi hai!” 🙂 🙂 (can i have some rat kills please!)

Total baseless squadron of “awfully creative” advertisements! There are definitely lot of them, but even humans have a boiling point you see! 😀 😛 Feeling sleepy (Yawn!), signing off!! ADIOS

http://www.wikio.com

Ads that make No(N)Sense (part-1)

Now from where does that topic comes, well it was indeed a case of observatory tumor! (Tumor for the part of observation which can be interestingly proliferated) Anyways, I’ve not been writing for a while due to tight schedules (feels like corporate ain’t it!), but this topic was surely somewhere down the attic. Most of us are directly or indirectly familiarized with the device called “Idiot Box”, and I guess it is rightly named so!

From the good old “ Doordarshan” times, there have been various advertisements which are running along Junta’s favorite serials only for us to say “Yaar 5 min ka program or 15 min ki ad!!”. 🙂 Some advertisements are good enough to emboss us with “aahaa” moments, while the others leave us gasping for breath. 😀 The most recent and a contemporary stakeholder for the worst TV ads is the JK Cement ad, where a bikini clad lady emerges out from the sea. Now, how on the earth can you relate this advertisement to a Cement brand, total shambles!! 😮

The next worst thing could definitely be Aman verma’s toilet cleaning ads, man ‘o’ man I bet it makes your meals tough, by zooming in and out eeeks!! You’ve gotta have a strong heart to deal with those. Also competing close are the fairness cream ones in which the guy goes to girls hostel for stealing fairness cream with a background lullaby “Hi Handsome Hi Handsome”. This jingle is so irritating to the ears, and not to mention the dialogues “Shahrukh na sahi, handsome to koi bhi ban sakta hai” 😀 😀 LOL

Another one worth mentioning would be the Pan Masala ads, which are the self acclaimed pride of India. Now I am unsure of pride, but the red army have unusually creative streak in making some of the most bizarre modern art edifices on Indian streets. Their sheer understanding of color combination (yellow teeth, red walls, and pale bladders) has been an encouraging factor for the carcinogenic campaign. The other interesting Pan Masala advertisement is the one depicting the guy solving complicated mathematics problem with the help of “Beetel Intelligentsia”. I wish I knew this technique earlier, I would have surely been there at Oxford University 😛

Well for the rest of the part, I’ll have to gather more courage! 😀 Till then enjoy this, while I come up with another smoldering episode of “Ads that make no(N)Sense” 😛 :D, and yes please come up with some suggestions for the next part 🙂 Adios!!

LIFE

Life is about Happiness, Enjoy It
Life is about Difficulties, Face It

Life is a Blessing, Accept it
Life is a curse, Dodge It

Life is a Child, Pamper It
Life is an Obstacle, Hamper it

life is a child, Pamper it

Life is LOVE, Feel It
Life is a Wound, Heal It

Life is ME, Life is YOU
Life is a Bluff, Life is True

Life is Kudos, Life is a Critic
Life is an Attitude, Life is a Pity

Life is Obvious, Life is a Satire
Life is Purity, Life is a Felony

Life is Soul, Life is Heart
Life is an aspiration, life is a dart

When the waves of life pulls you through
Sail across like a frenzied sailor

Enjoy the sunrise, and the sunset,
The rainbow and the deep blue sea

Embrace the starlit night
Fluctuating the darkness

Accumulate the enigma of thoughts
Decoding melancholy restraints

Allow yourself to unnerve
Love life and caress it…

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