“You promised yourself to not talk to anyone for 12 hours. But after 11 hours and 55 minutes you could not take it anymore, and ended up shouting out”. Here’s how and why!
Wednesday morning came as a surprise for me, just got up on the wrong side of bed and found one of the most irritating characters standing in front of me.
Shyam Vinayak (nicknamed Shyama) has been notoriously popular in the friend circle for his unruly and irritatingly foolhardy behavior. He carries a certain allure that makes even the most dignified and societal creatures to blurt out like maniacs!
Imagine yourself, waking up in the morning and finding yourself right into the perpetual set of “Bheja Fry”! I’ll tell u that’s just too scary!
“Hey Shyam, what are you doing at my place that too early morning??” I exclaimed, citing what’s going on! “ Arre kuch nae yaar main bus aise he kahin jaa raha tha aur tera ghar raste mein tha, to socha mil lun”! (I would have sued the Civil Engineer for this misplacement of my home!!)
“U’ll have tea or coffee” I said, getting back to the conversation! “Two Coffees, a cream bun and maybe some paranthas would do” he was almost fixative there!
“Now what’s with 2 cuppa coffe”, was my prompt reply! Dude Sudhir bhi aaya hai, he’s waiting out there! (Sudhir, an ad maker who cherished some strange satisfaction in making people suffer) Here he was in the living room, to fetch happiness out of my life!
Good morning Sudhir, how’ve you been? That’s a (un)pleasant surprise (hidden feelings) “ Nothing much was just thinking of a new Ad concept actually, so thought to catch up with you guys to discuss” – a pre-empted reply it was, and I could smell trouble trailing the day!
“That’s interesting” I said vehemently, what’s the concept all about? “Something distinct yet similar” he exclaimed grabbing a chair! I am working on a scenario wherein you have to take the challenge of keeping mum for just half-a-day in favor of a grand dinner at “The Taj”. (The deal was too sumptuous to resist)
Seems fun, but what’s the catch?? I was impromptu… Well it goes like: “You have to keep the silence going, with a person of my choice!! There was a strange shrewd crimp in his voice, which I didn’t figure out then. “That’s pretty easy!” I told myself, not sensing the danger!! “Alright buddy, let’s start with me, what say??” I was anticipating a positive reply!
Sudhir readily agreed and said “ok your time starts now, and there’s NO U-TURN here” a wicked grin made me nervous upfront. He then turned to Shyama and said “You’ll have to accompany him the whole day”!
Bwaha! I was trapped, should’ve sensed the danger, but it was too late to back off! The breakfast ended with a lot of whining around the distinctive taste buds. (And yes the characteristic talks of Mr. Shyama)
Then came some DVD’s (Needed something to survive a day with this mental Tsunami!) The bet started at 8 in the morning, and it was around 10 a.m that we starting watching movies. With star wars being the first one showcased, I was bombarded with some mind-boggling questions like, why’s this spaceship not rectangular! Don’t they feel suffocated in those attires?? Why are the stars themselves not fighting! Why are stars like what they are! What if moon and sun interrupt the STAR WARS, what eclipse it would be and blah blah! I somehow survived those two ODD hours…PHEW!!
Those infuriating gaffes made me feel like a “Fish without water”, but with an uncanny valor, i faced those blows like a defiant warrior!
It was 12 now and we thought to explore things on a driveway, and there we were… three of us in the pinching and effervescently shining sunlight! Junes make things worse for you, especially in Delhi, where the sun rays pierce through your skin, unbuttoning heap of sweat and frustration. For me things were a double whammy, with Mr. Sun and Mr. Shyama, equating a well-defined persecute.
Half past twelve (afternoon), we were waiting for bus no. 836. Satish was accompanying us with his treacherous Hawk Eye! “Thankfully AC buses fall in this route and at least heat would spare my day”, I told myself! But, then maybe it was bound to be a horrifying day…DTC Strike!!! Now what we could manage was a rickety, overcrowded minibus, and given a height of 6 feet it was BANG-BANG!!
The radio played an old pathetic hindi number “atariya pe lotan kabootar”, and this Mithun fan lived up to the spirit! Ambitious whistling around and high-pitched audio rehearsal with an blemished urge to dance! Blemished because, the “Pan Masalas” were doing their bit by occasional showers from the fellow passengers. Then, i don’t know why, the seat next to the driver was vacant, and our very own “Sample” got control of it.
And then, the driver went out of control!
He started gaining breath, and we (me and the driver) started losing temper! “How long have you been into this profession bhaiya! how much do you earn, for how long you can drive in a go?? Are you married?? what’s the maximum speed this bus can achieve??” For once, we almost brushed past an accident! I wanted to shout, but i couldn’t…
Sudhir was loving it, i could sense that from his expressions!
The next thing i remember was some very polite “Haryanvi abuses” stabbing the eardrums for 15 continuous minutes. For a moment, i thought i would witness “Street Fighter – part5“, but as i mentioned “a bad day“, Mr. torture wasn’t somehow in “Blue of health“!
It was around 2 when we reached CP, and then Lunch time! We went to a Chinese Restaurant, and then the menu with tongue twisting names was next on my Foe’s list. I was hungry and going bananas, but my dear friend was busy fiddling with the item names.
What happened next??? Well that would be coming soon in Maar daala O-S(hy)ama (Part2)
Stay tuned to this space, and do lemme know how’s my first ” SO CALLED STORY”!
Crazy ideas are also welcome!! 😉