On this day of fog!

He sat there, near the masjid on a cot
His face crisscrossed in wrinkles
a long, patient artwork
from the 8 decades of an indifferent life

His hands tremble,
as if there are earthquakes
he hides in himself
his eyes burning with
volcanoes that went awry

There’s a broken toy in his lap,
people throw pity, some 2 rupee coins
those who need prayers flick some more
for a desire that is worth millions

The old man sits there,
the world seems hazy to him
it’s as if he’s died long ago
and everything is a Deja Vu on replay
or maybe an illusion, or an anxious thrust

Through his blind eyes,
the old man sees a bright young lad
on his father’s shoulders, the father held him tight
this boy meant the world to him

In the battered toy, he smells fresh pure blood,
it blends with gunpowder, like winds in a desert
That day he remembers clearly, death danced
on the pyre of small demonic kids, and women and men,
and the bright young lad

Who slayed the boy, he is not sure
religion, caste, creed, he doesn’t remember
he didn’t recognize the blood on their hands
they called themselves godmen though
this tune of devastation, brings back thy god,
he is pleased isn’t he, for he’s made this song

For 2 decades he sat across a temple
waiting to hear the answers
for another 2 decades, he waits here at the masjid
he seeks revenge, from whom?
the god maybe, the god whose angels are bold, brutal and black

On this day of fog, he waits to see the reason
of this chill, the numb air, and blank expressions

He waits near the masjid on a cot…
this revenge muttering, scoundrel old man

I sing an old song…

I walk by the streets
I sing an old song
there are some merchants
who hawk their stories
some old, some freshly baked

I fall for this one
the one with mountains and rivers
there’s freshly stoked tea somewhere
the lump of ginger, I feel it in my throat
There’s a tea stall on the other side
the one where people brew their dreams

An old man pours a story
the chai wallah flavors it
I sip a few words,
I try to gulp some down

My story seems incomplete
I add some more lies, sugar coated
they blend well, the stories
but some words fall down
unknowingly, or knowingly perhaps
in my cup of tea

I call for another one
some more storms steamed in
my half-empty cup
my half-filled stories
I crush, and swing them around

As I start again,
I walk by the streets
I sing an old song.

A night to remember…

Some stars slip away,
from the hands of a soapy sky

They make a pattern of dreams
some of them moist, some a little dry

The dreams untie some loose thoughts
the ones that almost said goodbye

The thoughts trek to the moon
and choose a place to lie

The moon wants to break free
some selfish clouds push him to a standby

The stars pull a string of winds
and the moon takes this alibi

The clouds watch him go
as he smiles towards the dark sky

The black, and the vast cold night
wants to sleep when the sun sings a lullaby

The sun is too lazy to wake up
and the night too lazy to die

As the dawn breaks, i watch the day happen
Some feelings too nude, some feelings too shy.

 

बस शिव ही शिव है

इस शब्द से उस अर्थ तक

जीवन के हर भावार्थ तक

बस शिव ही शिव है

मेरे अहम् के तथ्य तक

मेरी आत्मा के सत्य तक

बस शिव ही शिव है

उस सूर्य से इस आग तक

इस शरीर से उस राख तक

बस शिव ही शिव है

हर मंत्र से हर वेद तक

अज्ञान से सम्वेद तक

बस शिव ही शिव है

मेरी आस्था की नींव तक

मेरी कुण्डलिनी जीव तक

बस शिव ही शिव है

मैं व्यर्थ हर इक सांस तक

तेरे चरण हैं मेरा शीश है

बस शिव ही शिव है

 

कतरा क़तरा

कतरा क़तरा मेरे ठन्डे अश्क,
कतरा क़तरा तेरी बहकी चाहत

कतरा क़तरा मेरी उलझी आहें,
कतरा क़तरा तेरी सांस की आहट

कतरा क़तरा तेरे जिस्म की खुशबू,
क़तरा क़तरा मेरे रूह के हिस्से

कतरा क़तरा मेरे लहू की रंजिश,
क़तरा क़तरा तेरे प्यार के किस्से

कतरा क़तरा तेरी यादों का मंजर,
कतरा क़तरा मेरे कफ़न से रिश्ते

कतरा क़तरा मेरे पिघलते सपने,
क़तरा क़तरा इस मौत की किश्तें

 

अक्स

तेरी आँखों में दिखता है
मुझे अक्स अपना
किसी खामोश सागर सा
बैठा है किनारे पे

ये जो सुरमा लगा है
उस मैं कैद है काफ़िर इक
कभी आंसुओं से सूख जाता है
और कभी यादों में भीग जाता है

रातों में जो कभी देखूं
तो इक रौशनी दिखाई देती है
इन आँखों ने ही तो जैसे
सूरज को वो चमक उधार दी है

पलकों की खिड़की से
जब भी झांकता हूँ बाहिर
दिखती है मुझको अपनी
इक तस्वीर पुरानी, मैली सी

इस तस्वीर में ज़िंदा हूँ मैं
और ज़िंदा है इस अक्स की कहानी
कुछ उसकी ज़ुबानी
कुछ मेरी ज़ुबानी

Solace

When the vast sky says hello to the enormous ocean
It’s just the breeze I hear among the roars

A half-dressed sun hides beneath the clouds
I try to dress it with a half-naked orange moon

This evening seems to have lost its sheen
And the night seduces the stars into illusion

orange
Image Credits: crazycameragal.wordpress.com

The sun-baked hopes seem to wither
I wash their face with a new song

I look up, and then down as the silence caresses me
I hear a good-bye, my shadow moves away

It’s just me and the night, as we sleep hand in hand
a cushion of the half-naked orange moon, and a blanket of dreams

It’s Just!

It’s just I wanted to think,
Just like, I never write
It’s just that sky is so dull,
Or else the sun is too bright

It’s just I wanted to scream,
I want to start a new fight
It’s just I’m always wrong,
You think you’re always right

Image Credits: Sumner Crenshaw
Image Credits: Sumner Crenshaw

 It’s just that day never ends,
Maybe he’s late for the night
It’s just that love is so blind,
It’s never out of the sight

It’s just that white is so black,
It makes the black so white,
It’s just my thoughts are so loose,
Like broken strings of a kite

GOD Luck!

It all started in 1998, I was 12 then – My cricket fanatic father was watching a cricket match on TV, Sharjah Cup it was, India Vs, Australia. There were some regular interferences, and my father told me to adjust and hold the antenna in the north-west direction for around 20 minutes, A short man with his unruly curly hair was adjusting his helmet and a Kathak stance followed. “Jaldi kar Sachin ki half century nikal jayegi” (Be quick, or I’ll miss Sachin’s half century. While on the stairs to the antenna-studded roof, I thought who’s this Sachin, and why is his half century so important!

My father shouted “Come-on down, the signals are fine now”! There I was, watching cricket EAGERLY for the first time, a straight drive to Jason Gillespie, a back-foot punch to Tom Moody, a nightmarish straight slog to the Warne and the commentators reiterating “What a player, what a wonderful player”.

I now knew, who that man was and why his innings was so important!

He’s been a habit since, from newspaper cuttings in school registers, to the wallpaper with his cover drive captured, and the trump cards where I would yearn for the “Master Card”! I’ve known Cricket to be Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar, not a fraction more or less.

But this habit has changed now, my idol, my motivation – SIR Sachin Tendulkar has retired from cricket, and so have i!

I have been a die-hard Sachin Tendulkar fan, but never really got a chance to see him batting live, in a stadium. To be frank, I was never keen on that, as I had a notion that the TV cameras and different hawk eye views are simply the best way to indulge in his divine strokeplay.

When I heard the dreaded news of his retirement, I felt like a part of my soul has been stripped off! I kept sulking on my way to office, not sure what to do! A couple of days later, BCCI announced his final two tests (199th and the 200th) at Kolkata and Mumbai.

This very moment it was decided, come what may but I am going to see the cricketing GOD live at least once before his willow rests!

I aimed for Mumbai, but things didn’t looked good with only a few thousand tickets for the millions of Sachin worshippers. I called every soul I knew, tried every possible or impossible options that might work. The first test already in progress, 2nd day, 1st session – Not for Mumbai, but the ticket for Kolkata was in my hands, elation is just too small a feeling to match my emotions.

INDIA VS WEST INDIES  – Test Match, Day 4 it read. I somehow managed my travel tickets, got my leaves sanctioned! It was hectic, but awesome…

Kolkata Ticket
Kolkata Ticket

Until West Indies ruined my party with a 3rd day fallout!

I didn’t know how to react, Mumbai seemed to be like a vacation on the Mars, and like a common man, a bicycle was all I ever had.

A couple of days later, BCCI announced that the tickets will be sold online at www.kyazoonga.com, and only 3500 is available for the general public. It was like aiming at a grain of sand amidst a vast sea, a chance of 0.0000001%.

But I was determined, especially after the Kolkata fiasco, it was now or never!

The ticket sale started at 11.00 am and at 11.05 am, the website crashed, a sea of traffic in a mug – it tumbled and blasted. I tried refreshing the whole day, asked a couple of friends to keep trying, the webpage were continuously refreshed on the mobile phone – but nothing happened!

  • At 9 pm the first page opened, but it never went past the 2nd page.
  • 11.30 pm, I finally got to the transaction page – and it crashed
  • 1.15 am, for the second time it crashed on the transaction page
  • 4.30 am, again the transaction page, a prayer on my lips, and Bingo! There was it, TRANSACTION SUCCESSFUL!!

I thought it can’t be real… hard to believe what my eyes told me – I got a confirmation email and an SMS! It was destined to be Mumbai – the 200th test match. Two tickets, one for me and one for Aniruddha, my brother! (Yeah, I got two:D)

Mumbai Tickets
Mumbai Ticket

Before 4.30 that morning I didn’t sleep because I had no tickets, after 4.30 my eyes never blinked – Impossible – is that what I said?

Very special thanks to Mona here, for making voracious efforts and supporting me endlessly.

A tatkal ticket and I was in the train, 3.40 pm from Nizamuddin station, Wednesday, the 13th. I grabbed my seat – Mumbai for the first time in my life!

As time progressed, I got to know that half of the compartment, was going for the ultimate cricket match. People played videos of Sachin Tendulkar’s innings, Pakistan 1992, Perth Test, CB Series, Sandstorm Sharjah innings, 100th century, 200 not out – and what not!

It was like when we go to a pilgrimage, everybody sings the same lyrics, dances to the same tune, and nurtures similar emotions in their heart! Instead of bhajans, there were videos here – and the God was Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

7.15 am I reached Borivali, and 8.15 am at my friend’s place in Goregaon. Aniruudha and I all settled for the first day, my first local to the Churchgate station. 10.30 am we were in the stadium, and that very moment I knew how it was to watch a match LIVE!

And there was the master – at the point towards Garware Pavillion, a hat over those unruly curly hair. I could breathe, I could feel the magnificent atmosphere – Chants of Sachin…Sachin… so loud yet so soothing! The stadium roared when the ball came to master, or when he moved around the field, or when he was near any of the stands – Pilgrimage, oh yes!

Sachin...Sachin...
Sachin…Sachin…

It didn’t really matter who was bowling, what was the score – Mexican waves and Sachinism ruled the stadium. I saw many empty seats when the West Indies were batting; I wondered why?

West Indies were bundled out after lunch, and the Indian openers were out in the middle. What I witnessed was bizarre, the crowd was cheering the West Indian bowlers to take the wickets, and the umpires were booed for not giving the batsmen out.

I got my answer! Here came the moment – two successive wickets, and suddenly the stadium was jam-packed – even air wasn’t allowed to pass through!

There he came, the master, on the field for the final time, the crowd dancing… Sachin…Sachin… echoed, and everybody up on their toes. I cannot recall even a moment when the maestro was batting, and people were on their seats – young, old: it never mattered.

A crisp cover drive, and Aniruddha went berserk, a buttered straight drive and I went mad! Tendulkar looked in his prime and the crowd was bonkers. Looking at the jeers and cheers, we were wondering – how can somebody concentrate here?

IMAG1363_1

But his name is Sachin Tendulkar, focus and determination were named after him! He was looking confident, relaxed, and quintessential! 38 not out was his score on the first day!

On the journey back home, Aniruddha and I were discussing, how the master will be feeling on this day! He has given 24 years to international cricket, and suddenly everything will be gone!

It was hard to get into the stadium on the second day, a stretched queue ensured we reached 30 minutes after the day’s start, sulking that we would miss Master’s half-century – our blood pressure reached the Tsunami level.

However, luck was too generous, the moment we reached inside the stadium – a straight drive rushed from the master’s willow, and there was his half-century.

It was destined; GOD LUCK was on our side. The stadium erupted! He waved his bat, I felt he waved at me, and I waved back!

Legends never retire!
Legends never retire!

Tendulkar was at 74, facing Shillingford – and there was a dead silence in the stadium. Sammy took the catch, but did not dare celebrate. The end of maestro’s last innings, the stadium stood up, the breeze halted, and the sun motionless– the time stopped. The master went back to the dressing room – a vacuum felt, shivers in the heart!

The match ended within the first half of the third day! The presentation ceremony commenced, and what followed was the most spectacular and heart-warming speech in the sports history.

The god of cricket, humbled the world with his gratitude for almost everybody – His family, friends, sponsors, media, fans! Men are strong they say, but this very day, I saw 90% of the men heads down with tears rolling down, too overwhelmed to speak!

Some people held themselves back from crying – including me! Then came The Sachin Tendulkar, all alone, touched the ground, smearing his forehead. My eyes were moist this time – I could not stop!

Sachin retires from cricket and so have I, determined to meet the Master once!

I know this is a very long post, but I could not help share my innate feelings! Here’s a poem for the master!

And yes for the last time it is Sachin…Sachiiinnn!

Some Words

The trees want to whisper,
and leaves dance in the isles
The breeze trickles them
It seems they are all drunk

The road’s too long,
and the journey unknown
A gang of clouds kidnap the sun,
I’m not sure who’s the one

The moments gather here,
all of them
They hymn a lullaby,
a newborn moment falls asleep

What lyrics they were,
i don’t know
A haphazard song,
the one with me and you in it

Image Credits: fineartamerica.com
Image Credits: fineartamerica.com

The smell of dew,
still afresh
The mist of hopes,
thickened with expectations

This road seems to go nowhere,
the dreams chose to stay still
Aimless i wander,
in this world so unknown

I live by this moment,
of peace and serenity
A tear in my eye,
the taste of which is sweet

The sun pays its ransom,
the clouds let it free
Some words that i write
some words that i breathe

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