Hum Spam Kar Chuke Sanam!

A pinch of curiosity might have trickled your drainage via the title… Well actually, I have been thinking of penning down this titillating post since quite a while now, but time constraints you know!

P.S: the above line is mentioned just to highlight the Beeziness of the protagonist here (or antagonist maybe)

On a solemn note, I would like to bring to your kind notice that I have been spammed with an overwhelmed amount of emails, messages and calls. (You guessed it right, I just wrote a leave application to my boss before writing this)

SPAMMED!

From iPhone in 3 Rs, to some girl wanting to meet me, and a guy in the UK lottery department notifying me that I have just been declared a billionaire (Given the fact that I don’t even know how many zeroes are there in this figure, this is ridiculous!), I have been ruthlessly spammed. The interesting part is that I even got some messages confirming the aforesaid financial improvidence of mine. Something like this!!

“This is to inform you that you have won a prize money of Ninety five Thousand Pounds (GBP95, 000.00) for the 2011 Online International E-mail Draw which was Organized by Coca-Cola Company of UK. All participants were selected through a Computer Balloting System drawn from Two Hundred Thousand E-mail Addresses”

and i thought I’ve been unlucky! 😮

While the so called “Spam” did fooled my buoyancy couple of years back, (being a billionaire, and some beautiful, fair, 5’7 girl wanting to talk to me “Mujhse dosti karoge” types) the repeated bludgeoning of my wombed patience has given birth to the SPAMasura – the anti-spam man! (no flashy underwear, webbed costume or a sword for that matter) Asura coz this is Kalyuga…Yo!! 😛

SPAMasura can be anyone who’s a NO-ONE and wants to be a SOME-ONE! He is the answer to the frustration and quandary of the crowd bombarded with blatant looking marriage proposals, million dollar inventions, and Flat kharido – chamach jeeto offers every day!

Talking about marriage proposals, a friend of mine barely escaped a shock-hemorrhage when SHE read this email.

Hi there SWEETY, this is Nina, a Model from Mumbai, i saw your profile online and would be interested for a courtship.  I’m 27 years, 5′ 7”, A FUN-LOVING, attention-seeking & a pampered GIRL I believe, for a fruitful life together, you have to be connected by heart… I am sure once we meet, we’ll be GOOD TO MARRY!!

ooolala!

Another interesting story, as told by my friend: He got an email from some African girl narrating the incident of how her father’s death led the relatives to conspire her killing for the X billion dollars that she inherited. And then she wanted him to help her settle in India, and arrange for the stay here in lieu of 50% of the Inherited will! Holla if you hear me!

Happily ever after

She mailed her a photograph (obviously pretty-2), and they communicated almost daily via emails… Everything seemed to be in “happily ever after” lineage until my friend finally found her to be a big burly Nigerian operating in Delhi! 😮 😀

The Nigerian must have definitely seen a Bollywood movie otherwise who uses such pathetically monotonous ideas! you bad MAMBA JAMBA! 😛

A thought of marrying the massive Nigerian just tousled shivers down his spine… (Don’t run yer imaginations people)

Burp before you BEEP! 😀 😛  

There are so many other SPAMS, which I cannot mention here just for the sake of my innocent readers… :p (try running yer imaginations here) 😉

I am sure someone, somewhere might have been getting SPAMMED! (Shahrukh style) 🙂

Do share your experience, we might see a part -2,  kyunki “Hum Spam Kar Chuke Sanam 😉

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