Is adbhut post ko dekhte hi 5 seconds mein like karein, apki barso ki ek ichha zaroor poori hogi


Ladki ki photo ko to 10,000 likes kuch seconds me mil jaate hain, dekhte hain wordpress ke is nakaraa blogger ko kitne likes milte hain.

What a ….tiyapa way to start a blog??

I know…I know!!

But this post comes in after a lot of hair clenching sessions…..  when I see my facebook page overburdened with such scavenging posts.

Here’s the payback time!  Mera inteqam…. (a 90’s revenge background score)

Well, first of all a big burrrrrrrrpppp on the faces of people in my Phreinds list, who like these posts – inadvertently testing my doctored patience.

And another surplus blast originating from a rather different part of anatomy (if you know what I mean) :D. This terror strike is for the inventors of jhandarfull stuff like this.

Now look at these original posts (word-by-word)

5 sec ka time nikal ke photo like karo

Comment main jai _______  likho

Share karo aur phir dekho chamatkar

Yeah yeah : facebook baba chamatkaar (3 idiots wala) ho gaya, meri 3 din pehle chori hui chappal aaj waapis mil gayi. Lagta hai bhagwan ji ke paas SHREE-G connection hai, what a fast response!

Ab main agle 3 din tak roz subah login karke namaskar karunga!

To the face-bhookiya devotee – is god busy doing facebook these days! I know we Indians are religious fools, but this is an extent. If you want miracles to happen, do your karma well!


Jai Jubaan!

“Kisi heroine ki photo ko to hazaaro likes mil jaate hain,

Dekhte hain bharat maa ke is jawaan ko kitne like milte hain, comment mai jai hind likh kar share karein

Aaj dekhte hain ki facebook pe kitne deshbhakt hain”

Bhai tujhe kya r..owl   ga..dhi ne facebook survey ka theka diya hai! Ya rahaat kosh se chawal churata pakda gaya tha aur ab neta banna chahta hai!

To the face-bhookiya deshbhakt – No likes and comments will give them their due admiration, try not to insult them by using their name for your marketing gimmicks.

Aur haan, angrez to gaye bharaat ko “Scamino” ke naam karke, aur tu ab hame chaen se facebook bhi mat karne diyo!

Now, my “yours sincerely” request to the people who like, comment and share such posts is – Please limit the visibility of such posts if you think that you just cannot miss the facebook Avatars and chamatkaars.

For some” honhaar guys”, I completely understand your failed attempts to impress “that” girl by sharing emotional “maa ka pyaar” aur “aurat ka balidaan” posts.  – If you really respect people, you won’t need a show-off!

And yes last but not the least, to the ladies log commenting  “AWW” on everything ranging from a screw, a dog, an accident, a tsunami, nail paint, a smiley….a polka dot!  – Kya log sach kehte hain, ki jo “Aww” na kare wo “Awwrat” nahi! 😀 😛

P.S: Only fun n pun intended, no offences!

In case you feel offended……….





My words have reached the right ears! 😉

Agar aap sachhe velle hain to comment mein likhein “Aww”some aur share karein 😀

………………………………. WHAT A RELIEF…………..……………….. J

Feed the hungry blog: Share the care


A spoof of the popular song “Naina Lagiyaan baarishaan”, this poem is dedicated to Mr. Pocket Singh aka Khujli Kumar, a boss’s character who’s outrageously irritating and essentially holds an attitude that hardly befits his qualities, and yes the height too!! … If you too are a victim of a similar idiocy, this is just the poem for you!

Statuory Warning: The wordings are contagious! You may feel an urge to scratch different body parts after reading this.

Pinde pagaiyan kharishaan
Te thuk thuk ke kapde vi phij gaye
Pinde pagiyan Kharishaan
Kutte katde de bhonkde ne sanu vekhke
Pinde pagaiyan kharishaan
Kudiyan navi mere office cha a gayi
Roz nayi ek khujli se
hone lagi hai dosti
Soya rehte hun main office mein,
Karne ko hai kuch bhi nahi
Har pal har lamha,
Main kaise sehta hun
Bina khujaye ek pal bhi
main kaise rehta hun
Mujhe Khuja de-aa—2
Aur phir har jagha ko suja-li-yaa
Mujhe Khuja de-aa—2
Kala akshar bhains barabar,
Phir bhi karta hun apni badhai
Clients mujhse puchte hain,
Kuch lete tum kyun ho nahi bhai
Ek ganda sa ye thobra hai,
Us pe gande se main chehre banaun,
Khujaane se bhi main baaj na aoon…
Paida hona tha woh ho gaya
Jo tune thha likha
Mujhe Khuja de-aa—2
2 words English ke sikha tha,
usma bhi “can i TOOK” sa judaa thha,
Took sa main hone laga,
Chavanni sa khone laga
Jaise kuch mera
Tu hi mera liye abb kr dua,
Tu hi is khujli se kar de juda,
Dikhne mein kathha main saada
Main yeh khud se kehta hoon,
Mujhe Khuja de-aa—
Aur phir har jagha ko suja-di-yaa

Feed the hungry blog: Share the care

Constipation of a writer

Well…ummm…dunno…where to start with!

Of late, some colleagues have realized that I am a writer!

While people doubt my competency over words saying “Exams mein toh hum bhi writer ban jaate hai, nayi baat bata” (During exams even we become imaginatively advanced writers, what good are you for! 🙂 😛

Exams! How imaginative those three hours used to be for me, especially in the case of social studies….what long stories!

Some of my constipated writings, which strived hard to make the impact 😉

Constipation of a writer

Question 1: In which year did Columbus discovered America, illustrate the discovery!

Answer: Columbus discovered America somewhere between the years 1620 – 1630…. The fact that America’s too vast to be discovered in a year, historians have suggested a liberative estimate. Columbus started his voyage from southern Greece, which at that time was known as ancient Mesopotamia! Since his birth he had this urge to discover things, at the age of 3 he discovered his name was Columbus! Subsequently, he also discovered that 9 came after 8 and that sky is blue and roses are red.

My teacher thrashed me and called me a HISTORY SHEATER… 🙂

Question 2: Describe the advantages and relevance of Steppes Farming.

Answer: Steppes is one of the more popular farming across southern Asia as they follow a step-by-step policy towards the “Developed Countries Group”. Another reason is that people are health conscious and want to exercise while farming collectively. This is also one reason that China and Japan lead the Olympic medal race almost constantly. Steppes is also known as TERRACE FARMING, and therefore people is the southern Asian region water the terraces with harvested rain water. Terrace farming is also known as terror farming in certain regions (Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq etc.).

Note for Examiner: While I know that my knowledge of the subject is deep, I expect at least a 9/10 for this answer.

When this answer was disclosed to my principal, she was instinctively determined to throw me off her bungalow’s terrace. 😛

While I still live to tell the story, I will continue back to the topic “Constipation of a writer”!

I’ve seen many people associate writers in their back of their mind as “a puffy eyed nerd, ideally wearing specs, somewhat poor earning fella whose diet comprises of cigarettes, tea/ coffee, or both, a mild alcoholic maybe….and as lost as a sand grain in the Pacific Ocean!

Interestingly people associate similar things (cigarette, coffee and tea) to a constipate who fails to flush down plum desires… More interestingly there are similar things for a writer, but the other way round!

A writer needs to flush his thoughts out of his mind for maybe some creative purpose (for a moment, please forget that I am a writer 😀 )!


I’ve seen managers gathering for a 5 minute “Sutta break” (sutta = cigarette) to discuss an issue that is bothering their obedient lives and sledging the boardroom knives. What do I see? A creepy issue that had the usually sophisticated managers pulling their hair apart in the long MEETING hours, does a juggle through the smoke rings, and bang comes the solution!

Similarly, it’s a cup of tea or coffee that works for the people whose teeth titter by a fortune forecast image on the cigarette packs. Or may be their family doctors suggest that the body seems unfamiliar with lungs…

For some, it’s the conscience of salvaging the best of both worlds! 🙂 Coffee n cigarette…hallelujah!

I think the concept is, it’s just not the WRITER, the STRATEGIST or the THINKER, it is anybody and everybody who thinks a cup of coffee or tobacco incense is the solution.

That is it; it’s just a herd of constipated thinkers, and not just the constipation of a writer!














It’s over buddy… (Seems, my writing is addictive, and you just can’t stop banging your head over empty space) 🙂


Feed the hungry blog: Share the care

Why this Jhol-a-very Di!

The title seems interesting eh! Given the fact that Kolaveri has gone viral, this might go influenza. One reason why I chose this name is  for a marketing gimmick, and I’ll be candid about it! 🙂

The other reason being the Phunny English, weird words and flop songs involved 😛

Frankly speaking the title seems absurd and outwardly stupid, and I have no qualms in accepting that I was testing my nerdy symptoms here.

Now getting back to the point, what the hell is the post about?

Well I have had a bad day or even better a frustrating day, and this post is an outpour of my pseudo-intellect parallelism (don’t bother understanding this, it’s just something absurd).

I have this habit, whenever I feel infuriated; I want to laugh out loud at this world, myself, sneaky neighbors, constipate-faced bosses, and almost everybody!

Will start with some excellent English verbatim by a P.T teacher (shared by one of my fry-ends)

There is no wind in the football – Because wind is in the air buddy!

I talk, he talk, Why you middle talk? – In the middle of know-where!

You rotate the ground four times – Must be Rajnikanth…mind it! (see the connect 😉 )

You go ‘n understnd the tree – Be eco –friendly dude!

I’ll give you clap – For clap-tivating performance!

Bring your parents with Your Mom ‘n Dad – Applicable only for westerners!

Form a straight circle – With a curved scale!

Open the window let the atmosphere come in – Inhale the wind in air!

The other thing I am gonna blabber about is the changing genre of Bollywood songs. It all started with “Beedi” and now it seems like everybody’s going foolhardy over songs that originated from truck drivers, rehab folks and dingy streets. Last evening, I heard this song “Pauwa laga ke ayi, chikni chameli”! I mean the lyrics are so mess-merizing that you just can’t help pulling off your shoe (yes, even when your socks stink!).

The creativity seems to be taking a new high every second, from See-la ki Jawani, Munni ki bad-naami, Chaalu ke thoo-mke and bhatt not! I imagine next would be something like this:

Champa chatori leke katori

Rangili puspa

Besaram bijuria katili nazaria

Adhia lagake pallu ghumake

I know…I know I should stop here…. you’ve been very patient all this while, and I don’t want to go to the dentist this weekend! 😀

So keep your cool, take a deep breath and smile! 🙂

The motto of this post! Nothing… just wanted to start this year with smiles… No offence intended!


Oh yeah, by the way…. HAPPY NEW YEAR 😀

Feed the hungry blog: Share the care

Hum Spam Kar Chuke Sanam!

A pinch of curiosity might have trickled your drainage via the title… Well actually, I have been thinking of penning down this titillating post since quite a while now, but time constraints you know!

P.S: the above line is mentioned just to highlight the Beeziness of the protagonist here (or antagonist maybe)

On a solemn note, I would like to bring to your kind notice that I have been spammed with an overwhelmed amount of emails, messages and calls. (You guessed it right, I just wrote a leave application to my boss before writing this)


From iPhone in 3 Rs, to some girl wanting to meet me, and a guy in the UK lottery department notifying me that I have just been declared a billionaire (Given the fact that I don’t even know how many zeroes are there in this figure, this is ridiculous!), I have been ruthlessly spammed. The interesting part is that I even got some messages confirming the aforesaid financial improvidence of mine. Something like this!!

“This is to inform you that you have won a prize money of Ninety five Thousand Pounds (GBP95, 000.00) for the 2011 Online International E-mail Draw which was Organized by Coca-Cola Company of UK. All participants were selected through a Computer Balloting System drawn from Two Hundred Thousand E-mail Addresses”

and i thought I’ve been unlucky! 😮

While the so called “Spam” did fooled my buoyancy couple of years back, (being a billionaire, and some beautiful, fair, 5’7 girl wanting to talk to me “Mujhse dosti karoge” types) the repeated bludgeoning of my wombed patience has given birth to the SPAMasura – the anti-spam man! (no flashy underwear, webbed costume or a sword for that matter) Asura coz this is Kalyuga…Yo!! 😛

SPAMasura can be anyone who’s a NO-ONE and wants to be a SOME-ONE! He is the answer to the frustration and quandary of the crowd bombarded with blatant looking marriage proposals, million dollar inventions, and Flat kharido – chamach jeeto offers every day!

Talking about marriage proposals, a friend of mine barely escaped a shock-hemorrhage when SHE read this email.

Hi there SWEETY, this is Nina, a Model from Mumbai, i saw your profile online and would be interested for a courtship.  I’m 27 years, 5′ 7”, A FUN-LOVING, attention-seeking & a pampered GIRL I believe, for a fruitful life together, you have to be connected by heart… I am sure once we meet, we’ll be GOOD TO MARRY!!


Another interesting story, as told by my friend: He got an email from some African girl narrating the incident of how her father’s death led the relatives to conspire her killing for the X billion dollars that she inherited. And then she wanted him to help her settle in India, and arrange for the stay here in lieu of 50% of the Inherited will! Holla if you hear me!

Happily ever after

She mailed her a photograph (obviously pretty-2), and they communicated almost daily via emails… Everything seemed to be in “happily ever after” lineage until my friend finally found her to be a big burly Nigerian operating in Delhi! 😮 😀

The Nigerian must have definitely seen a Bollywood movie otherwise who uses such pathetically monotonous ideas! you bad MAMBA JAMBA! 😛

A thought of marrying the massive Nigerian just tousled shivers down his spine… (Don’t run yer imaginations people)

Burp before you BEEP! 😀 😛  

There are so many other SPAMS, which I cannot mention here just for the sake of my innocent readers… :p (try running yer imaginations here) 😉

I am sure someone, somewhere might have been getting SPAMMED! (Shahrukh style) 🙂

Do share your experience, we might see a part -2,  kyunki “Hum Spam Kar Chuke Sanam 😉

Feed the hungry blog: Share the care

Maar Daala O-S(hy)ama (Part 2)

So, hope you guys had a good long weekend! 😀

This is my way to sign in to another nerve clenching episode of Maar Daala O-s(hy)ama – part 2 (just making sure it sounds interesting!)

So the characters: Me (the victim), Shyama (or verbal Osama) and Sudhir (Mr. Cunning) at the Chinese Restaurant in CP.


“It was around 2 when we reached CP, and then Lunch time! We went to a Chinese Restaurant, and then the menu with tongue twisting names was next on my Foe’s list. I was hungry and going bananas, but my dear friend was busy fiddling with the item names.”


We had to decide something quick and I gave blank stares to Sudhir! Finally after half hour of pinnacle, we finally ordered something! While they were galloping the dish names, I could just put my finger across the item name.

Maar Daala O-s(hy)ama

Sudhir ordered Manchurian with some meatballs, while the latter ordered cheese Momos and mushrooms. I decided to order honey chilly potato with some fillers (Mouth watering already!).

While we were waiting for “the gorge”, Mr. Shyama was sharing his expert opinions about the evolution behind the “Chinese food”… “Look dude Chinese names me hamesha Chow aur Chi zaroor hota hai, aise hi unki dishes mein (there are always words like Chow or Chi in Chinese names, similar thing applies to the cuisine) like CHOWmein, manCHOWrian, CHIlly patato, etc… We had some good bemused stares from the people around, and I was already imagining the cook doing his Kung-Fu practice on Shyama.

The food was here finally, and the attendant gave him a stern gaze. But, as undeterred and super intellect he was, couldn’t refrain from his absolute stance. He wanted to eat in “proper Chinese style” to show off his laurels, and asked the attendant to get CHOPSTICKS! “We don’t have chopsticks here sir, people rarely use it”, the attendant replied, trying to be courteous. Arre, how can you say “we don’t have it” Shyama was at his irritating best, and Sudhir was snooping!

After some good verbal arguments, they finally got him the chopsticks! Those chopsticks ate 40 more minutes from my already starved appetite. It was 3.30pm when I finally started with my lunch, and that too was on stake! The fillers were good, and the Chilly potatoes were sending shivers down with the extra spice, but never mind it was a breather for me (or so I thought!)
Mr Shyama on the other hand was picking up with the art of “Chopsticks”, along the first piece laden with sauce and a swollen pride! On the way to his mouth even the mushroom was terrified of that territory, and there it slipped out of his chopstick and landed right on my face and then on my shirt (as if crying for help). I could for once forgive him for sauce on my face, but not for the big red blot on my favorite Levi’s shirt… I stood up and almost shouted something. But then I realized it would just waste the whole ordeal, and I was back to my chair.

For the next 40 minutes he was babbling and murmuring, but thankfully he couldn’t speak much! We left the restaurant around 4.15 pm. Roaming around, we went shopping into nooks and corners, and every time Mr. Shyama had his “EXCERPT OPINIONS”! While in Palika Bazaar, he caught hold of a salesman calling “Italian Leather Sir, genuine leather belt, only Rs. 2300 Sir” 

Italian leather

“Sharm aani chahiye tujhe, kya milta hai masum janwaron ko maar ke! Aur wo bhi Italian janwaron ko!” (Shame on you for killing innocent animals, that too Italian) His hands caught the salesman’s collar, and I was sure we’ll be beaten black and blue now
The terrorist in Os(hy)ama was at full swing!!

“Abe kahan se aya hai” salesman said, while Sudhir himself felt embarrassed this time, he was talking to the salesman to let go. But Mr. Shyama – “Narak Bhogega tu” (you’ll go to hell)! And then there were people watching the free premiere accompanied by a herd of other shopkeepers who joined in to support the salesman.

Now I was bound not to speak, and Sudhir was handling this stuff. Those little frowns on his face were soothing to soul! Things were going out of proportions, and then Sudhir took the salesman to a corner and said “Yaar iska thora problem hai, tragedy hui thi uski saath, jaane de dost” (friend he’s got some problems in life, please don’t mind)

But then the salesman was loud enough “To isko baandh ke rakho na”, and I could hear mumbles of laughter. Finally, after a lot of persuasion the storm settled, it was already 6’0 clock and we were heading back home.

This time the bus was better (only in a way that there was breathing space at least) and my foremost concern was getting a seat for Rajesh ASAP, I was pretty tired and another scuffle was just a big NO.

15 minutes into the drive, and he got a seat next to a chirpy old man… They started talking about old days and Shyama was quite hyper proving that the new generation is lot better than the oldies.

Another grueling session was on the cards, with the old man a step ahead in proving his points. Things went awry and they were now shouting at the top of their voices with gestures referring to other passengers who were already having a good time. Some smirks, some giggles and whispers followed every comment.

But I wasn’t much bothered now, or maybe coz the watch was telling me “it’s 7.15 dude, couple of more minutes and you’ll be enjoying a grand dinner at the TAJ”. The tension was now shifting its base to Mr. Sudhir, with frown lines clearly visible on his adulterated face.

Nevertheless, we reached home at around 7.40, and I was almost there. It was an overstretched day, so I decided to take a shower while Sudhir and Shyama discussed things. A good long show was what the cerebellum ordered to avoid last-minute complications, I did just that!

The Clock struck 7.55, and I was back into the room, holding back my smile. Sudhir had a wicked reaction (quite unusual to the situation), and Shyama was silent! Something had gone horribly wrong…

I looked at Sudhir with puzzled eyes, and then to Shyama, I could see my laptop lying beneath him! And then my worst fears came true, “Yaar galti se maine tera SYSTEM FORMAT kar diya”… A lightning struck me, it had all the data that was damn crucial, my office projects, my unfinished novel, colossal torrents, and above all the “My next week presentation”!

I fiddled through the laptop with a faint hope only to find that all the drives were formatted! It was BRAND NEW now! Blood rushed through my veins onto my head I caught hold of Shyama and punched his face with a fierce potential.

The volcano of words swept over, I almost wilted a whole paragraph of undermined abuses in a single go! Sudhir’s wicked grin was back again…

I was relieved, but then I lost the deal within a matter of 5 minutes!

Crazy things people do!!!

Feed the hungry blog: Share the care