Hum Spam Kar Chuke Sanam!

A pinch of curiosity might have trickled your drainage via the title… Well actually, I have been thinking of penning down this titillating post since quite a while now, but time constraints you know!

P.S: the above line is mentioned just to highlight the Beeziness of the protagonist here (or antagonist maybe)

On a solemn note, I would like to bring to your kind notice that I have been spammed with an overwhelmed amount of emails, messages and calls. (You guessed it right, I just wrote a leave application to my boss before writing this)

SPAMMED!

From iPhone in 3 Rs, to some girl wanting to meet me, and a guy in the UK lottery department notifying me that I have just been declared a billionaire (Given the fact that I don’t even know how many zeroes are there in this figure, this is ridiculous!), I have been ruthlessly spammed. The interesting part is that I even got some messages confirming the aforesaid financial improvidence of mine. Something like this!!

“This is to inform you that you have won a prize money of Ninety five Thousand Pounds (GBP95, 000.00) for the 2011 Online International E-mail Draw which was Organized by Coca-Cola Company of UK. All participants were selected through a Computer Balloting System drawn from Two Hundred Thousand E-mail Addresses”

and i thought I’ve been unlucky! 😮

While the so called “Spam” did fooled my buoyancy couple of years back, (being a billionaire, and some beautiful, fair, 5’7 girl wanting to talk to me “Mujhse dosti karoge” types) the repeated bludgeoning of my wombed patience has given birth to the SPAMasura – the anti-spam man! (no flashy underwear, webbed costume or a sword for that matter) Asura coz this is Kalyuga…Yo!! 😛

SPAMasura can be anyone who’s a NO-ONE and wants to be a SOME-ONE! He is the answer to the frustration and quandary of the crowd bombarded with blatant looking marriage proposals, million dollar inventions, and Flat kharido – chamach jeeto offers every day!

Talking about marriage proposals, a friend of mine barely escaped a shock-hemorrhage when SHE read this email.

Hi there SWEETY, this is Nina, a Model from Mumbai, i saw your profile online and would be interested for a courtship.  I’m 27 years, 5′ 7”, A FUN-LOVING, attention-seeking & a pampered GIRL I believe, for a fruitful life together, you have to be connected by heart… I am sure once we meet, we’ll be GOOD TO MARRY!!

ooolala!

Another interesting story, as told by my friend: He got an email from some African girl narrating the incident of how her father’s death led the relatives to conspire her killing for the X billion dollars that she inherited. And then she wanted him to help her settle in India, and arrange for the stay here in lieu of 50% of the Inherited will! Holla if you hear me!

Happily ever after

She mailed her a photograph (obviously pretty-2), and they communicated almost daily via emails… Everything seemed to be in “happily ever after” lineage until my friend finally found her to be a big burly Nigerian operating in Delhi! 😮 😀

The Nigerian must have definitely seen a Bollywood movie otherwise who uses such pathetically monotonous ideas! you bad MAMBA JAMBA! 😛

A thought of marrying the massive Nigerian just tousled shivers down his spine… (Don’t run yer imaginations people)

Burp before you BEEP! 😀 😛  

There are so many other SPAMS, which I cannot mention here just for the sake of my innocent readers… :p (try running yer imaginations here) 😉

I am sure someone, somewhere might have been getting SPAMMED! (Shahrukh style) 🙂

Do share your experience, we might see a part -2,  kyunki “Hum Spam Kar Chuke Sanam 😉

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18 thoughts on “Hum Spam Kar Chuke Sanam!

  1. Seeti..Seeti…
    No, I do not have my millions to offer you, nor my hand. Neither can I tell that’s it’s your last chance to buy that flat.

    But you will have to concur that most spammers will make excellent bloggers, given their creativity.

    • Lol 😛 yeah, given a chance they can upheld their creative spirits to be “Excellent Bloggers”

      their ideas can brighten the blogging world, and take it to yet another unprecedented level

      They’ll come, they’ll spam, and we’ll Concur 🙂

  2. 🙂 indeed we do get loads of such mails on a daily basis.. and my first job after logging to my e-mail account is to delete all the mails from the spam folder… 😉

    not sure what do people benefit out of such mails !! :O Nicely written with blend of both facts and humor.. BINGO !! 😀

  3. hahahaha..man this post is awesome..Loved your writing style.. And yeah even i get calls on my mobile from the “mujhse dosti karoge” types and u just listen to their seductive voices.. 😛

  4. Very interesting and Amusing! Spam Asura, haha! In the entire spamming process, these spammers atleast did one good thing, they inspired you to write such a witty post and gave us a reason to laugh and enjoy 😛 Brilliant 😀

  5. Haha 🙂 SPAMasura! What an Idea, that was! I have been laughing all through. Even I got many lotteries and people were too generous to inform me through repeated SMSes.

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